HOUSEWORKS: July 4 holiday is different these days

It's the price you pay when you have a large city park for a backyard and live in a neighborhood where grade-schoolers occupy every third house.

What I'll be looking for are singed plastic nose cones, tiny parachutes and the leftover launching systems of bottle rockets.

Happily -- at least that's my hope -- I will not have to contend with the post-Independence Day cleanup my parents once faced.

No one -- I hope -- will have piled 100 or so Snake pellets on my sidewalk, squirted them with lighter fluid and set them afire to create the world's largest anaconda.

No one -- I hope -- will have lined my front walk with sparklers, set them all ablaze and left behind their wires to await the next passing lawnmower.

No one -- I hope -- will have cracked my driveway by putting a coffee can over a very large (and very illegal) firecracker and setting bricks atop it.

No one -- I hope -- will have nailed short pipes to my fence posts, stuck roman candles into their sockets, carefully linked their fuses together with bare copper wire attached to a model railroad transformer and created a waterfall of blazing glory.

I was a very creative child.

It was I, after all, who invented the Red Rat gun, Smoking Capstick tennis, the ball-bearing cannon and Toads in Space (particulars available at the address below; you'll have to supply your own toads).

But I've gotten older.

I no longer ride to the dozen fireworks stands that have sprung up in parking lots within bicycling distance to compare prices and find out which products are legal this year.

I no longer carry stick matches in my back pocket.

I no longer drop capsticks into the storm sewer to watch their yellow bubbles and delight in the reverberation when they eventually explode.

I no longer wrap electrical tape around a dozen Silver Salutes, then pound them with a hammer to further compress their explosive might.

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